je ne sais pas

Il y avait une fois, je me suis dite, "allez, on va tenter master 2 en chimie moléculaire. De toute façon j'ai 14 en chimie organique en M1, ça va pas vraiment poser des problèmes l'année prochaine"

Mais bref, maintenant je me sens comme si j'avait fait une mauvaise décision. Etre sûre de soi-même est une chose de bien, mais il fallait surtout surtout pas surestimé la capacité de soi-même .. car quand on se rend compte que l'on ne peut pas éxecuter toutes les taches dont on nous a disposé, ça fait mal.. 

Je veux vraiment faire de mon mieux pour ma dernière année ici, mais il m'arrive souvent de me sens incapable de gérér tous ça.. les cours sont longs, ennuyants avec pleins de choses à assimiler.. le stage que j'ai déjà commencer à chercher depuis un mois mais finalement, ce que j'ai reçu ce sont que des réponses décévantes..

Est-ce que je vais réussir à avoir mon année? Moi aussi, je suis pas sûre.......

them.

sometimes I think I am the luckiest person in the world. I have everything that everyone dreams to possess: I got family, money, a good education, a good place to live.

It didn't come to my sense until I saw them. yes them. the one who doesn't even have a place to live, food to eat, money to buy everything that they would like to have and in many cases, parents to be depend on.. my heart aches for them.

How could I, the one to whom God has given everything, still thinks that I am still lacking in many different ways?
why am I being ungrateful?
why am I acted like a spoiled little brat whenever there are obstacles for me to overcome?
why do I feel insecure with what I have?

why?

first day.

Salam.

Yesterday we started our class. Nothing really special actually, but there's difference between how the profs in L3 and master perform their teachings. They seems to write and talk faster than usual, making it harder for me to completely understand what they really want to convey. Especially in Theorical Chemistry (Chimie Théorique). There's a lot and a lot of theories and vocabularies that after 3 hours being tortured by those 'lovely' things, I felt like feeling sick. Believe me. I'm not exagerating ><

So I went back home, determined to revise all that I have learnt that day. But at 9 pm, without me realising, I fell asleep. And I guess that I'll just do those revisions this weekend. eheh. fin, comme d'habitude quoi :p

Wish me luck for today! :D

HOME.

Hello there, I'm home now in Rennes :)

First semestre will commence next week. I am now a student in Master of Chemistry (yeayyy). With that awesome title comes heavy responsibility too. I know that I should change my attitude (do more revision, go to the library more often, stop watching korean drama during weekdays etc) but I know myself, all these changes that I will probably do these first weeks will certainly not last forever. oh well, maybe I should give it a shoot, maybe I'll really change into a real book worm kan, who knows? :p

My English is seriously deteriorating. I need to start to speak and write in english, read news in english and watch a lot of english movies. Everything in Englishhhh lahh. So if you come across any grammatical mistakes in this blog, do not hesitate to tell me ya. I really appreciate it if you do so ;)

Till then. Bonne rentrée et bonne continuation! ;)

Tu veux ou tu veux pas?

qoui? ahh tu dit oui? et ben moi jveux plus mdrrrrrr

smile :)

please just keep on smiling won't you?
cause when you smile, the world smiles too :))

the reason why.

this really reminds me of what I have to go through during my childhood. I don't really understand why other children make fun of me, sneering at me saying "ugly" until I figured it out when I was 12. And I had 3 operations after that, oh 4 actually, totally forgotten about the teeth surgery that I had when I was 13.

Nevertheless, I still have low self-esteem after going through those painful surgeries, which continously perturbs me until this very day.